images 300x118 PCS orders military life PCS, Permanent Change of Station, Moving, Military Move, Orders. Call it what you want. Heck I’ve even heard it called the “P-Word”.  But until this very moment I never really understood how a simple piece of paper could create feelings of sadness, depression and anxiety.

Just to be clear NO this isn’t my first PCS and typically I’m not one to flip out over a last-minute change in plans. But like so many things in  military life until you experience something during YOUR perfect storm you can’t even begin to understand what another spouse is going through. In my past new orders were always met with excitement. I looked forward to our new adventures, exploring  new duty stations and experiencing the local culture. I didn’t even mind the PCS process, in fact it allowed me to get rid of the clutter in my house.

But this time it was different.

I LOVE our assignment at Ft. Carson. There isn’t one thing about Colorado, this post or this town that is lacking for me. In fact 8 months ago (after he finished Master Gunner School) my soldier broke the news that completing the course “locked” him into his unit for at least 2 more years. I was ecstatic! We talked about retiring here in the future and even set a date to begin looking for houses.

I accepted more invitations from civilian friends. I volunteered for year-long positions. Like I said I even began looking for possible houses to buy. I understood that we would eventually get orders but that was a long way off and for the first time in my military experience I felt like I could finally let my guard down and put some roots in place because eventually we would  return and retire here.

So when the P-word came out of my husbands mouth unexpectedly and too soon I was devastated. This time WAS different.

As I write and rewrite this piece I’m faced with the fact that with this set of orders I’m finding myself going through the grieving process. Don’t believe me? See for yourself:

  1. Denial & Isolation: For days after my soldier dropped the P-bomb I was paralyzed. I couldn’t tell anyone.  I found myself thinking (out loud) “This can’t happen”, “There must be a mistake”, “They said you were here for at least 2 more years”. “I can’t move right now”.  It felt like some sick kind of joke that I was the brunt of. For a couple of days I refused to believe that we had come down on orders. So I did what any other sane spouse would do I holed up in my house with a glass of Merlot and some chocolate and cursed the Army and all the idiots who mess with our lives. And then I was ANGRY!
  2. Anger: I have a long fuse, but once ignited I become the kind of angry that is ugly. I mumble under my breath, curl my lip and am short with those around me. How DARE they mess with my world right now. For me this  happens to be the worst timing for a PCS EVER. My book is currently at the printer and launching in just over a month. I have speaking events lined up throughout the fall (all from Ft Carson). And I LOVE it here. How DARE they….sigh.
  3. Bargaining: I wonder if he can call branch and extend. I silently pray that this nightmare will just go away until the spring, knowing deep down inside that the timing then won’t be any better. But I still try to bargain with anything I have. At one point I am crazy enough to say that he could go on with out me and I’ll meet up with him around the holidays. Ha… right like I could REALLY do that…Funny how the grieving process goes.
  4. Depression: And then reality sets in and I know that come late September, just weeks after I get my book in my hands, I will be starting over once again. And that makes me sad. I’m grateful that I’ve learned to let myself experience the feelings that come with military life, even when I wish I felt differently. So I take a day and cry. I cry because I’m sad, frustrated, and angry. I cry because today it feels like I have a huge bull’s-eye on my chest that the Army has chosen as their target in a plot to sabotage my book and my business. I cry because I’ll be farther from my babies and grand babies, and I cry because I love this place that feels like home.
  5. Acceptance: I’m still working on the acceptance piece - acceptance is a process, but moment by moment I find myself taking the steps to begin turning my attitude and grief around. I’ve started looking to see who I know at Ft. Leonard Wood. I’ve spent time researching how far I will be from the nearest airport and what bases are within a 1/2 days drive. I am even shocked (and pleased icon smile PCS orders military life ) to realize that I will have access to fresh produce as well as tomatoes and apples that taste like they are supposed to taste. I’m beginning to accept my fate and looking for the opportunities that will come with this move (just as they have with all previous moves).

This experience is bittersweet really, but also a lesson and a reminder.

Never ever assume that you’ve got military life mastered, because no matter how long you are a part of this community there will always be a new set of circumstances to deal with. No PCS is the same because factors and situations in our lives change. Thankfully experience has taught me that while this isn’t my choice, the sting will wear off and I’ll get there.

But right now a piece of me is still vacillating between denial and acceptance …secretly wondering, hoping really, if it’s all some big mistake.

~~~

Known by military spouses around the world as The Direction Diva, Judy Davis is a motivational speaker, lifestyle blogger, advocate and author of Right Side Up: Finding Your Way When Military Life Turns You Upside Down. A military spouse herself, Judy blogs, writes and speaks with a passion for changing the hearts of the military community and shares T.I.P.s (Tools, Information, and Perspective) to help military families become stronger. To connect with Judy, read her blog or obtain information about speaking & keynote topics, seminars & programs visit: http://thedirectiondiva.com (Inspiring Military Spouses)  or  http://livingthrucrisis.com (Helping Military Families Find Hope)

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369 101413 gs0369 300x300 work from home The Cloud tech Tablets Cameron Diaz would have us think that “Nobody Understands The Cloud”.

Well Ms. Diaz I beg to differ!  Well that is after yesterday when the aforementioned clouds parted and understanding came streaming down from the most unlikely source.

You see I’m a little “below-average” on the tech scale. Like most people I use my smartphone to stay connected and take lots of pictures.  And until recently I didn’t have much need for the cloud or portable computer access. In fact I did the majority of my writing, engaging and working from behind my PC in my comfy office chair.  [Pssst....Don't tell but I'm also often in my pj's and yoga pants sipping a latte from my comfy couch while on a business call too! ]

So for me  this whole cloud business felt more like a technical storm brewing rather than the brilliance that it is. I didn’t get how you could access the same document or picture without emailing it to yourself. I didn’t realize that I could start a blog and work on it during the nooks and crannies of my busy life from any of my portable devices…that is until I started using the Nokia 2520* tablet.

Truth be told when I first saw the shiny box with the perfectly clear screen sporting the Windows 8 operating system I was a bit freaked out.  It was so “techy” and “sexy” and way “cooler” than I am. I was overwhelmed - intimidated is more like it.

For a weeks I stayed in my comfort zone peaking at it like you would when want to approach the handsome guy standing across the room but can’t for fear of rejection. Sure every now and again I worked up enough courage to walk by and smile (aka play a game on it). I even got up the nerve to personalized the touch screen with groups and different sized “squares” for easy access to my favorite applications. But until yesterday that was it. I didn’t engage. I didn’t feel I could take the risk.

Like the cloud it was this awesome piece of new technology that I learned about in San Francisco even chatted about during a Friday afternoon twitter party (#VZWBuzz). But I just couldn’t get past the enormous learning curve obstacle which I had created in my head. Much like the cloud I didn’t “get it”.

But in a brave attempt to have something to say for this post I dove in.

And then (Cue music and sunbeams now) …it was like the parting of the binomial sea!

Here are a couple of the ”AHA’s”  that helped me get past my self imposed obstacles and understand that neither the Cloud nor my new high tech tablet were anything to be afraid of. In fact both are designed to make my life easier. How did I get here, by finally comprehend two things:

  1. The Nokia tablet  has 2 options for “getting things done” and I can choose to use either one depending on my needs in that moment.
    • The Desktop is perfect for writing blogs and accessing all the Microsoft office software that I use on a daily basis. It looks just like the version of windows I have on my PC and that makes me happy when I am stressed and in need of the comforts of familiarity.
    • The touch screen Windows 8 operating system is the perfect ”techy” option that makes high-def movie watching, incredible picture & video clarity,  Skype and yes games super simple. Not to mention I get to install and use all my apps from google play – with the exception of Instagram which I have been insured is coming soon icon smile work from home The Cloud tech Tablets !
  2. The cloud is nothing more that a big filing cabinet with a drawer that has my name on it. The big “mystery” is in trying to understand where the cabinet is kept. Honestly like 4G I don’t care to understand how it works, I just need to know that no one can open my files because I alone have the key. Even better is the fact that I can use my key to access anything from anywhere through the  lockbox guarded by OneCloud. Simple as that!

Was using the cloud easy to do you ask? Maybe the tablet made it easier, but absolutely!

Within 10 minutes I downloaded OneCloud onto my laptop, desktop any other device within range. I copied the files that I use regularly or need access to quickly by using the upload feature (big button on the window even I couldn’t miss icon smile work from home The Cloud tech Tablets ) and Whala I was work in motion!

In just 2 days the cloud and tablet have saved time in meetings. I was able to easily email proposals and edits without having to “send it when I get back to the office”. I could update social media pics and memes faster than ever before (even while waiting for a client) and that’s only the beginning! I can’t wait to see what comes next.

~~

*As a member of the #VZWBuzz team I receive various devices and accessories. No additional compensation was given and all opinions stated are my own. As always whenever I talk about products you will get the real scoop not something someone asks me to write icon smile work from home The Cloud tech Tablets

Known by military spouses around the world as The Direction Diva, Judy Davis is a motivational speaker, lifestyle blogger, advocate and author of Right Side Up: Finding Your Way When Military Life Turns You Upside Down. A military spouse herself, Judy blogs, writes and speaks with a passion for changing the hearts of the military community and shares T.I.P.s (Tools, Information, and Perspective) to help military families become stronger. To connect with Judy, read her blog or obtain information about speaking & keynote topics, seminars & programs visit: http://thedirectiondiva.com (Inspiring Military Spouses)  or  http://livingthrucrisis.com (Helping Military Families Find Hope)

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Military Life: Talking About War by Britta Reque-Dragicevic

July 17, 2014

For years we have been a nation at war. For years our veterans have kept their experiences silent. I remember my father in law (a WWII veteran) getting a distant look and finding an excuse to leave the room whenever a history question was asked by my children.  He couldn’t talk about his experience and […]

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Walk your way to Success…

July 10, 2014

When you were a little child, you got it in your head that you wanted to walk and you did. You didn’t let anything stop you and eventually you achieved success. Little by little, you worked on developing the skills you needed to walk. You grabbed on to something and pulled yourself upright. You stood […]

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Military Life: Deployment is a time to choke up and swing…

July 7, 2014

Over the last few days I’ve found myself wondering why. Why the upheaval in Iraq. Why did that person share such a thing on social media. Why did she get cancer? Why Why Why…it was like a 2 year old just discovering the world around them and I couldn’t stop it. And then I heard a speaker who […]

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Fill Out Your Absentee Ballots: It MattersThat Your Voice Is Heard

July 2, 2014

As I look back over past blog posts I see a few that are pretty vocal when it comes to politics and how our elected officials take care of our service members past and present and let’s not even talk about some of the things I share on facebook ! Since becoming a military spouse I find […]

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