So many of my fellow military spouses ask me about life as an entrepreneur. Recently Michelle Campbell from Mission Career shared these 3 great tips along with an invitation!

3 Things Aspiring Military Spouse Entrepreneur Need to Know
by Michelle Campbell

If you are one of the thousands of military spouses who continue to struggle to build the career your desire, starting your own business may be the answer you’ve been looking for.

The population of military spouse entrepreneurs is growing because many are realizing the benefits of taking back control over their professional lives and financial independence. If you have ever thought about starting a home-based business but haven’t taken the plunge, there’s no time like the present! And here are three things to think about before jump in head first.

  1. You have to get your head in the game: Your mindset will have a significant impact on the success of your business, so it’s really important that you put yourself in the right frame of mind and in a positive place as soon as you make the decision to go for it. If you’re not in the right place emotionally or mentally, you’re going to have a much harder time making a go of it because you will constantly be doubting and second-guessing yourself.A negative mindset keeps you down, holds you back, and keeps you stuck where you are and it typically comes from fear, lack of confidence, and uncertainty about what lies ahead.

    Remember, if you think you can’t, you won’t. If you think you shouldn’t, you’ll come up with excuses not to. If you aren’t willing to learn, to change, to put forth the effort necessary   to get what you want and where you want to be, you’ll remain exactly where you are.

  2. You have to spend money to make money: It’s just about impossible to start and grow a business without having to spend some money. Improving your skills and knowledge in areas you are lacking will make you a more educated and better business owner and a more effective service provider. And that will, in turn, create loyal customers who will keep coming back, which will boost your revenue.Don’t ever be afraid to invest in yourself or your business. If you invest in the things that will help your business grow in the most efficient and cost-effective manner, it will be time and money well-spent. And, if you focus on those areas that are most critical to you, apply what you learn from others who are more experienced than you, and do the things you need to do to keep moving forward, you should make your investment back and then some.

    You are worth it, and you deserve it!

    After all, if you are not willing to invest in yourself and business, you can’t expect others to invest in you, your skills, or your services.

  3. You don’t have to go it alone: Starting a business is no small task. There is a lot to do as you launch your new venture. Life as a military spouse and a parent can feel overwhelming in the best of times. Introducing a new business into your life is a big decision and can quickly cause you to feel overwhelmed if you don’t devise a plan early on to manage your business, your household, and your responsibilities to your military family.That plan simply involves creating the structure you need to make it all work. Implementing policies and procedures that allow your business to run more efficiently, establishing dedicated working hours, getting help from your family at home, and even hiring a mentor or coach to provide the guidance and support you need in your business can keep you grounded and focused and give you a greater chance of success.

            So how do you get started? I invite you to join my Online Business Boot Camp specially designed for Military Spouses!

If you’re ready to start your own business but aren’t quite sure where to begin or how you can make your business work around your military life, you may be interested in a very affordable (it’s just $97!) new training program that is starting this week!

It’s the Online Business Boot Camp for Milspouse Entrepreneurs who want to start their own home-based online business and even those who have already started a business but it just isn’t providing what they want or need.

Beginning on October 22nd, we’ll get together at 12PM Eastern on a conference call with the rest of the group to talk about the subject of the week, each of which will help build a home-based online business that satisfies your professional ambitions and provides you with all of the freedom and flexibility you need to have the successful career you want while guiding your family through your life in the military.

You’ll be able to brainstorm with other program participants, get feedback on your ideas, connect with other like-minded military spouses, and experience the fun and excitement that comes with creating something new and wonderful that is all your own and will help you achieve what you want to and need to for yourself and your military family.

Click here for complete program details and to register, and please feel free to contact Michelle if you have any questions!

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images feelings emotions How to Defend Against Five Emotional Vampires

By Judith Orloff, MD
Adapted from the new book, “The Ecstasy of Surrender”

 Emotional vampires wear many different disguises–from workplace bullies to needy relatives to poor-me complainers. Intentionally or not, these people can make us feel depressed, overwhelmed, defensive, wiped out, and angry.

Without effective self-defense strategies to keep them at bay, victims of emotional vampires sometimes develop unhealthy behaviors and symptoms, such as overeating, isolating, mood swings, or feeling fatigued. They also get drawn into unhealthy relationships.

Here are five common types of emotional vampires we often encounter, adapted from the book The Ecstasy of Surrender, along with some “silver bullet” tips for fending them off.

Type #1: The Passive-Aggressive Person. This type of vampire expresses anger with a smile or exaggerated concern–but always maintains their cool. They are experts at sugar-coating hostility.

Self-Defense Tips: Let go of self-doubt and trust your gut reactions. Tell yourself that you deserve to be treated more lovingly. Address their behavior. In a calm, firm tone you might say, “I would greatly appreciate it if you can be on time when we go out to dinner.” If nothing changes, keep setting limits with this person and scale back on the time you spend with them.

Type #2: The Narcissist. For this vampire, everything is about them. They are ego-centric, self-important, and starved for admiration and attention. They may be charming and intelligent–until their guru status is threatened.

Self-defense Tips: Enjoy their good qualities, but have realistic expectations. Their motto is “me-first,” so getting angry or stating your needs won’t have any effect on them. Beware of this type, because narcissists lack empathy and are incapable of unconditional love. You may be able to get their cooperation, however, by appealing to their self-interest and showing them how your request will benefit them.

Type #3: The Anger Addict. This vampire deals with conflict by accusing, attacking, humiliating, or criticizing. Some anger addicts withhold things, or resort to using the silent treatment to punish you.

Self-defense Tips: Don’t let their anger wear down your self-esteem. Pause when agitated. Take a few slow breaths to relax, and do not respond until you are in a centered place. Try to stay neutral and balanced, and disarm the person by agreeing with them or acknowledging their position. Then state your case. It’s also useful to empathize with anger addicts. Ask yourself what pain or inadequacy makes them so angry.

Type #4: The Guilt Tripper. These types are world-class blamers, martyrs, and drama queens. They know how to make you feel bad about something by pressing your insecurity buttons.

Self-defense Tips: Let go of the notion that you have to be perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you feel really guilty, find a private place and let yourself cry. You can also reply with a positive statement such as, “I can see your point of view. But when you say ___, my feelings are hurt. I’d be grateful if you didn’t keep repeating it.”

Type #5: The Gossip. These busybodies delight in talking about others behind their backs, putting them down, and spreading catty rumors. When they do this, everyone around them feels slimed.

Self-defense Tips: Don’t worry about what this person thinks about you, and don’t take gossip personally. Rise to a higher place and ignore it. However, you may be able to get them to stop by saying, “Your comments are hurtful. How would you like it if others talked about you like that? Please stop saying these things about me.” If you’re in a group, change the subject. Also, never share information with a gossip.

 

* * * * *

Judith Orloff MD is a UCLA psychiatrist and author of The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life. A New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Orloff teaches workshops nationwide, has given a TED talk on this book, and has appeared on The Dr. Oz Show, Today, PBS, CNN, NPR, and many others. Learn more at www.drjudithorloff.com.
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