Be open to critics and feedback!
Sometimes I wonder why when someone is giving us feed back our first reaction is often to go on the defensive. We feel as if we have done something wrong, and everything in us screams “protect yourself”, “be careful” and our ego wonders “who do they think they are…”.
Yesterday I received an email from the publisher who I’ve been working with on my book, and I shared some of the feedback and suggestions with a friend. Instead of reacting the way I had expected they would, the person agreed with the points they made and asked if I really thought if was a finished product when I sent it in the first time. (Read more about expectations HERE)
SAY WHAT!?! I thought you said it was good, I thought, I thought….UGH! Everything in me cringed and my defenses come alive.
In my mind, Of course I thought it was done, well not really, and EVERY suggestion they made was on point, but that was beside the point. I thought… The reality was I didn’t like her siding with someone who wasn’t singing my praises and I felt like she was uncaring and not supportive. (Have I mentioned that sometimes my ego gets the best of me 😉 ?)
After I licked my wounds and stopped being such a baby I began to question why we don’t welcome feedback as tool that we can use to become more self-aware. When someone gives me feedback like this, they are being supportive and they do care, it just doesn’t feel that way because no one like to have any type of imperfection highlighted for all to see.
But what if instead of being defensive we were receptive, even when it didn’t feel good. You see feedback is just a way for us to look in the mirror and get a picture of what others see. It is an opportunity to evaluate what we have “put out there” and then use that information to grow and get better.
Feedback can be a positive thing in our lives,when we learn to take it in, sort through it and use the pieces that actually apply. Feedback can help us see things in a whole new way, it can help us adjust our sails, change our habits and move forward in ways that are truly affective.
Feedback isn’t judgement, it is actually an opportunity for self-awareness!
~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and entrepreneur as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com