Over the last week or so, we’ve been talking about different things we can do to make our military relationships stronger. We’ve covered the topics of Trust (Part 1) and Communication (Part 2) and today it’s all about the importance of being able to share the little things. Why? Because:
Sharing The Little Things Brings You Closer
When we are forced to be separated from our spouses for long periods of time, one of the hardest things that military spouses face is that we all change. Our kids grow, our spouses learn to cope with the effects of combat and we become stronger and more resilient. Both you and your spouse have different experiences, expectations and stressors that you must deal with without the direct support of each other while you are apart. Sometimes when the honeymoon homecoming is over, this distance can leave us feeling as if we are sleeping next to a stranger.
One of the best things you can do to prevent a re-deployment disaster is to be sure to keep the lines of communication open throughout your separation and share your everyday lives. Having firsthand knowledge of each other’s day to day activities helps you both stay connected.
Let me elaborate, because many of you are probably sitting there thinking that you don’t want to know all the details of what your spouse is dealing with when they are deployed to a war zone, and trust me neither do I. However I feel so much better when my husband shares with me things like what he’s had for dinner, what the landscape around his barracks looks like, what he does during his down time, or whether or not he beat Johnny in a game of spades.
Acknowledging that each of you will be living separate lives and dealing with unique challenges without each other will make re-connecting so much easier. Make the time to share your life with the other person as much as possible. Tell your spouse what the kids are up to; share the funny story that happened with your in-laws. Find ways to laugh together and share experiences so that you grow together through the separation.
By sharing the little things, like the fact that the dog ate your socks, does more than let your spouse know what the dog is up too. Sharing such a simple thing keeps each other as the focal point of your life and that’s what a strong marriage is all about.
~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of LivingThruCrisis.com, Judy’s books Right Side Up and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com