I’ll be the first to admit that when I became a military spouse I had no idea how to handle the logistics, change and stress that came with the military life. I was the epitome of fake it ’til you make it and often made things so much harder on myself than they needed to be. But over the years I’ve gone from overwhelmed and stressed out to resilient in ways I never knew possible. I have felt powerless and learned to overcome situations and challenges and I’ve become stronger.
At my husbands promotion ceremony the other day I was asked what I do besides take care of my military family. Little did the soldier know that his question would trigger a serious introspection on my part. While I answered that I was a motivational speaker and teen suicide prevention expert my thoughts spun off trying to answer the question “What do I do BESIDES take care of my military family”.
Why was this such a difficult question for me? Because what I do as my profession IS to take care of military spouses, military significant others, military kids, military moms – MY military family. It is my passion to help others navigate a lifestyle that isn’t always easy.
Now that my own children are grown and our house is an empty nest, I get my mom on by supporting, educating and even administering an attitude adjustment every now and again. Heck I even wrote Right Side Up to support military families so they would have the tools and strategies I wish I had when finding ways to deal with this crazy life.
The best part about doing what I do is that I get to help people answer YES to the question:
Are You Ready to Be Happy in Military Life?
At every installation I meet people who are miserable. They are stressed out and their military experience has turned their entire life upside down. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact when you
- Establish a Firm Footing
- Calm the Chaos
- Flush the Stress
- Respond to Change and
- Find YOUR Way within this life
you will be happier. How do I know that? Because I have had to do all of these things to get to the place I am today. A place that doesn’t look at military life as a burden, but rather an opportunity. But how do you do that? How do you turn your life back around when the ride gets bumpy? Well first you get a copy of Right Side Up which gives you strategies and tips for dealing with all of these things, and then you follow my blog and Facebook feed – because I share cool stuff to help you navigate military life 😉 !
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But seriously, the key to being happier in military life is to develop coping skills that are simple, easy to use that will help you along the way. No one can predict or know how to handle every situation, because our situation changes so often. But we can arm ourselves with the tools and resources to make it less stressful. For example when you are in the midst of chaos – trying to juggle the kids, your job and the fact that your spouse is late again, instead of losing it try the get quiet techniques or do the following things to avoid a trip to victim-ville.
- Don’t play the “who has it worse ” game.
- Put your attention on what’s going right
- Remember there isn’t a chain of command that wants to disrupt your life any more than they want to disrupt their own.
- Realize that fighting, whining and complaining will not change the situation. Only you can do that.
For more on how to recognize if you have a victim mindset that is preventing you from being happy as a military spouse get your copy here.
~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com