All posts,  Emotional Wellness

If you can’t say something nice….by Judy Davis, The Direction Diva

Your grandma may have said it, maybe your mom drilled it into your head like mine did, but I sure wish the saying “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” was making it’s rounds again because I have seen first hand that someone’s momma didn’t teach their children (young and old) this important lesson at all! 🙂

Over the last 4 days I have heard people say the meanest things to their kids, their neighbors, the lady in line at check out – even their pets.  And frankly I just don’t get it.  What good does it do anyone if you are well….mean?

I get we all have our “moments”, I get that sometimes my patience is a bit on the thin side, but at no time does that make it ok for me to become a mean girl.  Again I ask what good does it do other than hurt the person you are mean too, make everyone around you uncomfortable and bug someone enough that they will go home and write a blog about it?

Being mean no matter what the situation isn’t productive at all.  In fact it is the direct opposite of productive.  You’ve probably seen the Patrick Swayze movie Roadhouse where he is the “King of all bouncers”, his unlikely success is because he believes in “being nice”.  In the scene where he is training his team to clean up a rowdy bar what does he tell them?  “Be nice”…ask them to leave, but “be nice”.  If they don’t leave, escort them to the door, but “be nice”……His philosophy that you kill them with kindness and being nice is something we all need to do more of !

Like I said earlier, there is nothing good that comes from being mean.  You won’t get ahead.  You won’t find success.  You won’t be the best person you can be…. if you are mean.  Mean-ness is like a plague, it spreads and takes over a little bit at a time.  It eats away at your mindset.  It stops you from moving forward and it creates obstacles that are often impossible to overcome.

[Tweet “Being nice is contagious. Be a carrier”]

But here is the funny thing, Nice-ness expands exponentially.  You know the pay it forward concept.  Yep it breeds more nice-ness. Express a smile and it spreads like wildfire! Ever seen a giggly toddler and not instantly be filled with joy? What about a puppy or an elderly couple holding hands.  All of these things spread happiness and good feelings…why? Because they are nice!

So to the person who was so mean to the little old lady who was walking just a tad bit slow – I dedicated this post to you and your nasty attitude!! Maybe just maybe you will see the message and understand what every grandma knows, “if you can’t say something that will brighten someone’s day then don’t say anything at all”!


~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at

One Comment

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