All posts,  Emotional Wellness,  Military Lifestyle Advice

The Secret Power of Quiet

Have you ever noticed that when things are crazy and life seems to be filled with challenges, that things become louder? Our spouse leaves for training or deployment, and we tend to “fill the void” as much as possible.

We are on the phone more, watching TV more, the radio is louder and we speak in an “outdoor” voice just to drown out the quiet.  Everything is “kicked up a notch”, and we surround ourselves with busy-ness because we think it will help us.  And all of a sudden, it can seem as if the world demands more from us, and we find an increase in our “need” to be understood and heard. Ah…such is the life of the military spouse.

And today was no different. I just got off the phone with a friend whose husband deployed last week, her kids were fighting in the back ground, she was a bundle of nerves (ok a frantic crazy lady better describes it, but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt 🙂 ) and our conversation was anything but peaceful. It was just a typical conversation when one of my battle buddies was on the verge of losing it.  You know what I’m talking about, that “help me get it together so I can make it through the day” call that you have received (and made) at least once in your life as a milspouse!  And this call was a doozy, one that we will laugh about in a few weeks, and one that after I hung up, I needed quiet. I needed to recharge and get it together again if I wanted to get any of my to do list done!

So I did something I learned around month one as an Army spouse, I turned EVERYTHING off and just sat there for a minute with my eyes closed. And I began to relax again when a funny thing dawned on me…

I realized that one of the “secrets” to surviving in the military is to find ways to be quiet. (HAHA right…..but hear me out….)

In order to be able to “handle” the chaos (especially in those first few weeks of deployment before your routine gets established), we need to listen to our “gut”, we need to shut it all off and we need to get quiet.  When things are loud, we have to be quiet in order to deal with whatever is going on. That’s the key to balancing the chaos of military life. It’s allowing quiet in when life is anything but quiet. This is VITAL, because in the silence we find the solutions, we find the answers and we can breathe again. In the quiet we get sane again, we get to be us again. And it’s in the quiet that we find our power and strength.

Still don’t believe me? Think back to your best vacations, and ask yourself what did they have in common?

More than  likely, the “best” and most rewarding getaways were those that were filled with quiet moments.  The lazy beach strolls, the swoosh of the powder as you ski down the mountain, the sound of the tide coming in, the peace once all the kids were finally asleep, the squawk of the sea-gull or the cold crackle of the clear crisp air as you sip coffee and look out onto the new fallen snow.

Quiet allows us to feel, it allows us to relax and it allows us to renew our spirit. Quiet lets our minds work and allows us to deal with the stress and disorder that this lifestyle brings. Honestly the old “Calgon Take Me Away” commercials had it right. The crazier things get the more you need to “get away”, and sometimes that just means away from the loudness.

So when you begin to combust, and you know it’s coming, turn off the tv, ride in silence or just close your eyes and breathe. I promise you the peace you are seeking will present itself in the stillness.


~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and entrepreneur as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at

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