All posts,  Emotional Wellness,  Military Lifestyle Advice

The Key to Find Balance As A Military Spouse

Chaos, stress, unexpected change. These are some of the biggest obstacles we face when trying to find balance in our life.

I can’t tell you how many times my best thought out plans have been ruined because of an unexpected change in my soldiers day. It’s the little things that really send my life into free fall. The cold dinner, missed date night or the sad faces when another promised bed time story was delayed. It was like someone was playing a sick joke every time I tried to find balance to this rollercoaster life.

So what is the key that helps me bring things back into some type of equilibrium? Quiet.

The key to finding balance in this crazy unpredictable life came when I began to allow as much quiet into my world as possible. It has become vitally important for my sanity to build “quiet time” into my life on a regular basis. But how can you do that when my military life is anything but quiet?

You schedule time to do nothing a.k.a. “Do Nothing” time!

Put 10 minutes of “Do Nothing” into your schedule 3 times a week and watch your life come into balance (P.S. You can thank me later!).

For those of you who are saying “I do that”…Do Nothing Time means nothing! No distractions, no TV, no music, no people, NO devices…I said NOTHING!

It’s about creating space for yourself to truly relax. I do it whenever I can. I have been known to sit in my car before I go to the commissary or wait a bit longer than necessary in a lobby after a doctor’s appointment just to be by myself with only my thoughts. Heck I’ve even set my alarm just to sit in my favorite chair with a cup of coffee before the house awakens just to fit some quiet into my life.

Let me repeat because it is SOOO important!

Schedule some “Do Nothing” Time!

It is the best thing you can do to bring balance back into your life.

Now if you have little ones, you are probably laughing at me right now, rolling your eyes, and thinking “bless her heart; Judy has finally lost her mind”. But trust me; it is possible to find quiet (even silence) in a life filled with pandemonium, no matter how hard your children (or the military) may be working against you.

You just have to schedule it!

Not ready to go cold turkey and step away from life for even 10 minutes? Here’s a compromise: When life gets crazy turn off the tv, turn down the music even speak in softer tones. The quiet that comes from turning it down a notch brings with it the balance we crave.

Honestly, the old “Calgon, take me away” commercials had it right. The crazier things get, the more you need to get away and find peace and quiet. Because in the quiet you find your true power and strength. It’s the quiet that helps you find balance and get sane. When things are quiet, you get to become you again. Quiet allows us to feel, to relax, and to renew our spirit. It lets our minds work to deal with the stress and disorder.

So tell me….How do you get quiet?


~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at


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