• Military Life: A Peek into Life Surrounded by Men by Judy Davis

  • Do a quick google search and you will reveal more than you ever wanted to know about testosterone. For me I learned this important lesson after my daughter went off to college and I was suddenly surrounded by men.  My home now oozes “male-ness” and being an Army wife with soldiers at every turn doesn’t help. You look around what used to be my “home” and unless I’m mistaken, there has been a definite shift.  It looks different, feels different, definitely smells different and I’m fairly certain that if I don’t do something drastic I very well may be in trouble.

    I find myself dreaming of pink, hoping to smell perfume rather than dirty socks and longing for a real conversation [not the “huh”, “what”, “yeah“, or ever popular “what’s there to eat” verbiage that fills the air on a regular basis].

    In these last few months I have a new appreciation (or sympathy) for my sister-in-law who has been blessed with 3 boys and a husband. I used to think she was the lucky one, I mean no hormonal rollercoasters to deal with, no crying over something that happened 3 weeks ago and no trauma over what to wear to the dance.  But recent observations have brought to my attention a much more realistic view of her life.  And sister I feel for ya!

    By definition, Testosterone is the sex hormone, that stimulates the development of male traits; but in my world, testosterone, or an abundance of it, means that daily life is no longer the same.  You see when the scales tipped and my daughter moved out,  the men outnumbered me and then things changed. For those of us with curves and cushions what this means is that frankly we are screwed if we don’t do something to help balance things out.

    Don’t believe me?  I promise that after you read the challenges  that have recently been so “in my face” you will understand my plight This list is by no means comprehensive, is probably inspired by hormones and meant purely as entertainment. So no judging allowed!

    The Top “Reason’s” Why it’s Me Against The Testosterone

    • Even if something is right in front of their faces the male gender is physically unable to find it.
    • “Where did you say that was”, and “I can’t find my _______” are statements that I hear at least once per day.
    • Anything that makes the house smell good (potpourri, candles, essential oils) is immediately greeted with a “What stinks” type of comment.
    • A bathroom is NEVER clean even 1 minute after you scrub it.
    • A towel’s “home” is in a wad behind the door on the bathroom floor next to yesterdays underwear (must put in a small caveat as this doesn’t apply to the senior testosterone dude at my house 🙂 )
    • There is “no food” in the house if preparation is anything more than “heating up”
    • “The dog”, “The kids”,” The house”  are seen as my responsibility (again senior dude helps when his soldierman life doesn’t get in the way)
    • Never ever ever has anyone had a day harder than theirs
    • No matter how dirty anything is they just don’t see it (at least enough to clean it up without being asked to)
    • Without a prompt chores/housework/dog walking etc. will not get done
    • Any conversation that does not have a specific purpose is seen as time wasted
    • If there is a remote (phone, computer, game controller, etc.)  in their hand you may as well be talking to the wall
    • “Bonding time” directly correlates with “Bed time”
    • The ability to “get” a situation is non-existent in any instance where feelings and emotions are involved
    • They get frisky at the weirdest times (when you are cleaning, cooking, have your hands full, talking on the phone with an old friend…oh the list could go on and on 🙂 )
    • Endless silence – I have noticed that if I don’t start a conversation it may not occur
    • It is assumed that I have nothing important going on (or that can’t be put aside)  if they need me or need my help with something
    • When asked to put something away it may or may not end up in its dedicated spot or put away at all
    • If it doesn’t smell funky it must be clean
    • If it does smell funky they will put it back right where they found it “to deal with later”
    • “I’ll take care of it later” may or may not actually happen
    • They believe that fridges should get filled, floors should get clean, laundry should get done, and work and errands should get finished when they aren’t around
    • Men don’t realize that when my response is “nothing”, “never-mind” or “ok” that it may not mean exactly that

    Like I said, while not comprehensive, this list does show that living in a house with only men makes life VERY different. Not better or worse, just different.

    I’m sure that these challenges existed when my daughter stilled lived here, but for some reason her ability to intuitively see what needed to be done, idly chit-chat about her day, probe when I said “nothing” and share the remote made life just a little bit easier.  I think it’s time to call my sister-in-law for some tips on how to turn the balance back in my favor before I find myself buried in a pile of dirty socks…

    ~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and entrepreneur as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

  • Today's post is from guest Sylvia Smith who shares how to heal from a toxic relationship. While she approaches it from the relationship perspective, her tips can apply to toxic friendships as well! Toxic relationships are unfortunately widespread and can be damaging to your health both physically and mentally. These abusive relationships are usually rife with emotional abuse resulting in low [...]

    Read more

    “Everyone deserves to realize their fullest potential toward health and well-being, and good mental health care is essential to this”. Dr. Arpan Waghray of Providence St. Joseph Health is also spot on in this video discussing the importance of integrated care toward long-term overall health. The future of healthcare must challenge the way we look at patients and begin integrating [...]

    Read more

    As I browse my social media feeds I notice so many people are fed up and unsure of the direction of their lives. It reminded me of a post I wrote a couple of years ago when my son was stressed about what he would do with his life. Fast forward nothing he even considered was to be his path; life took him in a totally different direction. And it's more than ok not only for him, but for any of us [...]

    Read more

    You may have noticed I've been a little quiet lately.  Between the passing of my mother-in-law, supporting my husband, handling military life and dealing with all the feelings of my own, I haven't had the focus to do much else than the bare necessities. And I have been feeling guilty for taking a much-needed time out from anything that drains me physically or emotionally and just staying in my[...]

    Read more

    Sometimes as we traverse military life it can feel as though we live separately from the outside world. We have our own lingo, we take pride in things others take for granted and our day to day challenges are very different from our civilian counterparts. Because of this we need to build stronger coping skills and hone our self care strategies so that we are prepared - especially for the stuff[...]

    Read more

    Have you ever noticed that sometimes in military life it seems as though every time you turn around someone or something  just keeps getting in the way of your dreams?  It may feel like for every idea you have or action you take there is someone out there telling you it can't be done or how it won't work.  They may even share a suggestion as to how to do it "the right way". After church [...]

    Read more

    1 of page 31