As a mother of someone in recovery my heart broke today. Not for my son, not for my military family, not even for myself but for every other son and mother out there who continue to fight the beast of addiction. My son was (is – if I’m willing to accept that) addicted to prescription meds and alcohol. Even after 3.5 years of recovery under his belt, I still have a hard time using addict or alcoholic to describe him.
My baby is so much more than an addict, in fact if you met him (even at his “bottom”) you probably wouldn’t have suspected the demons he battled. Which is why today my heart was shattered when I happened upon a young man who had not been allowed to board his flight because he was too drunk. Sadly, he had relapsed.
What made it particularly hard was that he wasn’t a belligerent obnoxious drunk. In fact he was kind and understanding of the airport personnel. He was respectful, , well-mannered and he was completely broken. He just sat there – head in hand with a look of bewilderment in his eyes. He had no idea how he had let it happen.
To top it off, his biggest concern wasn’t about himself, it was about how he would call his parents and say he missed his flight home. My tears flow freely as I write this waiting to board my next flight.
I hate addiction. I hate the pain it causes the addict most of all. And before you dismiss his pain and judge him or say he brought it upon himself like so many others are murmuring around me, you only need to look at the broken spirit that was once this young man. Because trust me he never wanted to bring this kind of pain into his life.
So I sit here and do the only thing I can. I close my eyes and I pray hard for him. I look to my higher power and give some other mom’s baby to God’s care. It takes everything in me to resist my urge to sweep him up in my arms and say it will all be ok. But my Ala-non step work has taught me that this is his battle and I can help him most by staying out of business that isn’t my own.
The truth of whether it will be ok is up to him. But this reality doesn’t change this fact – I hate that the upcoming holiday will be clouded by this moment. I hate he is in pain and I hate that I will have to let go and let God.
This young man was approximately the same age as my son, and while I understand that recovery is a process, the mom in me is angry at the disease and sad for him.
But most of all I hate that it could have been him. I hate that it could have been my son.
That’s the shitty part of this journey. There are no guarantees, there are no perfect answers or words to the wise. It’s a battle that’s won one day at a time.
And today it wasn’t my son and for that I am grateful.
Teen and young adult depression, addiction and suicide are at critical levels.
~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with information for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com
From the moment you hear a heartbeat, the enormity of what lies ahead hits you full on and mom stress becomes a real thing. Whether it’s your first or fifth time becoming a new mom it is always a challenge. A new family member changes everything and brings with it a new normal that over time will unfold naturally. But what do you do when you are sleep deprived and unsure whether it’s day [...]
Today's post is from guest Sylvia Smith who shares how to heal from a toxic relationship. While she approaches it from the relationship perspective, her tips can apply to toxic friendships as well!
Toxic relationships are unfortunately widespread and can be damaging to your health both physically and mentally. These abusive relationships are usually rife with emotional abuse resulting in low [...]
“Everyone deserves to realize their fullest potential toward health and well-being,
and good mental health care is essential to this”.
Dr. Arpan Waghray of Providence St. Joseph Health is also spot on in this video discussing the importance of integrated care toward long-term overall health. The future of healthcare must challenge the way we look at patients and begin integrating [...]
As I browse my social media feeds I notice so many people are fed up and unsure of the direction of their lives. It reminded me of a post I wrote a couple of years ago when my son was stressed about what he would do with his life. Fast forward nothing he even considered was to be his path; life took him in a totally different direction. And it's more than ok not only for him, but for any of us [...]
You may have noticed I've been a little quiet lately. Between the passing of my mother-in-law, supporting my husband, handling military life and dealing with all the feelings of my own, I haven't had the focus to do much else than the bare necessities. And I have been feeling guilty for taking a much-needed time out from anything that drains me physically or emotionally and just staying in my[...]
Sometimes as we traverse military life it can feel as though we live separately from the outside world. We have our own lingo, we take pride in things others take for granted and our day to day challenges are very different from our civilian counterparts. Because of this we need to build stronger coping skills and hone our self care strategies so that we are prepared - especially for the stuff[...]
Military spouse, Judy Davis, is a motivational speaker, entrepreneur, published author and co-founder of DASIUM and Mighty Parenting. She is an expert in military life, small business success and suicide prevention in teens/young adults.