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Military Life: Deployment is a time to choke up and swing…

Over the last few days I’ve found myself wondering why. Why the upheaval in Iraq. Why did that person share such a thing on social media. Why did she get cancer? Why Why Why…it was like a 2 year old just discovering the world around them and I couldn’t stop it.

And then I heard a speaker who shared something that really hit home for me. Something that ultimately put an end to the WHY mantra going on in my head.  She said

Growth moves us from “why did this happen to me” to “how can I learn through this experience”

Deployment is the one side of Army life that I could do without.  And the other day, when our Brigade got the word that many of our troops (not including my hubby) would be coming home early I cried. I’m still not sure why I cried, and it wasn’t pretty….I mean it isn’t like we didn’t know that his deployment was for 12 months, but in that instant it was as if I split into 2 people.

Person one was the “direction diva Judy” positive, happy and encouraged that soldiers would be coming home to their families and that the situation “over there” was allowing it. I was happy that my neighbors hubby’s would be home so soon. I was happy that others could end the stress of deployment quickly and have something good to think about as they went to sleep last night. I saw all the positive outcomes that this news brought with it.

And then Person two emerged…I was the “normal Judy” who asked why about EVERYTHING.  Why aren’t our guys “on the list”, why do they still need some of them, why are we in this war, why are there terrorists, why are deployments 12 months anyway…you name it I wanted to know WHY!  And the selfish, whiner in me was shouting “It’s not fair”, they ALL should be coming home together. And all I could feel was how I (not my hubby, not anyone else…just me) was getting the shaft.  It was if they personally chose to mess with MY world….

But when that speaker challenged us with her words, I got it. Loud and clear as if someone was standing in front of my and threw a cold bucket of water in my face. And I became person one again!  I got that our part in this wasn’t finished.  I got that I had an opportunity, and I got that things are just as they were meant to be.

This deployment has made me stronger. It has made me realize how amazingly blessed I am to share my life with such an incredible man.  It has shown me more about what I am capable of than any other experience I have had, and I know I am still learning. It’s given my children life lessons that they will have forever.  It has allowed me to have a pride in our freedom that I’ve never had before. And in a strange way the distance has made things very clear and brought us closer as it forced us to grow individually and as a family.

Growth isn’t easy, and it’s ok to have a hissy fit every now and again (at least that’s what I’m telling myself anyway).  But once the fog cleared, I realized that the most important thing to do was to learn from the new developments, use this experience and search for the lessons in it.

Life will always throw us a curve ball, but it’s how we choke up and swing that determines whether or not we hit it out of the park….

P.S. Just wanted to let you know that this piece was written (and lost in cyber space until now) during my husbands last deployment :)!

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at

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