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Military Life: Mind Your Own Damn Business


I think the best piece of advice I ever received came from my grandma YEARs ago. I had come to her to “tattle” on one of my siblings and she looked me straight in the eyes and said simply “MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS”. 

I was shocked and didn’t like being put in my place so directly, especially when they were the ones who weren’t listening. For years anytime I heard these words, whether directed toward me or not, I could feel my granny’s disapproval all over again. I hated that phrase…until now. Because now, I get what she meant.

With a new “almost 50” wisdom, I am beginning to find clarity in how helpful that piece of advice really is. I could have saved myself a lot of pain and turmoil had I had just listened to her all those years ago.

The fact is that unless I am directly effected, my life would be a lot less chaotic and stressful if I just focused on minding my own business. If I stopped worrying about things that I have no control over or quit feeling that I have the right to meddle in situations that are totally none of my business, I would surely sleep a lot better.

And I think as a community, military spouses could benefit from learning this “lesson” right along with me. Because if we learned to mind our own business, we would be less stressed, less dramatic and much happier  Think about it, wouldn’t you be happier if you didn’t worry about your neighbor or the spouse who needs to understand the reality of the FRG and really just doesn’t get it. Wouldn’t we all get along better if we didn’t gossip and get caught up in the latest bitch-fest? And couldn’t we support each other better if we weren’t worried that our crisis wouldn’t become “coffee” talk the next day?

I’ve seen it all too often, too many of us focus on other peoples business rather than tending to our own. Yes it’s true that when we mind our own business we also have to deal with and handle our own stuff, so maybe that’s why it’s so difficult. Even though it’s easier to butt in where we don’t belong it’s also the quickest way to mess up your life.

My granny was right, I should have learned to mind my own business, and so should you!


~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and entrepreneur as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at

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