• Military Life: Taming the Vortex

  • I’m so excited to share that I have recently signed with Elva Resa Publishing and am looking forward to the publication of my first book which is a  Military Spouse Resource!

    As we move towards a release date I promise to keep you posted on the goings on, but in the mean time I thought I’d give you a little preview excerpt from my upcoming book:

    Have you ever noticed that when things are crazy and life seems filled with challenges, that everything becomes louder?  Our spouse leaves for a training or deployment, and we tend to “fill the void” with as much activity (a.k.a chaos) as possible so we don’t have to deal with the emptiness they left behind. I know that’s how it is for me especially in that first week. I have this mindset that if I fill the emptiness with lots of activity then somehow I won’t notice that he is gone.

    It happens almost without thinking; I’m on the phone more, watching TV more, the music is louder and I find myself speaking in an “outdoor” voice just to drown out the quiet.  Everything is “kicked up a notch”, and I surround myself with “busy-ness” because somewhere in my mind I think it will help fill the void his absence has left. 

    And then it happens, as if by magic our life is in a twirl. A vortex appears out of nowhere and it’s as though we are being sucked into a crazy, unable to function, type of twirl.  Our coping skills are thrown by the wayside, we forget to tend to our basic needs, and soon the entire household is spinning out of control.  It seems as if all of a sudden the world turns on its axis and starts to close in on us demanding more. 

    And then it becomes “all about me”.

    Quickly my mindset shifts and life becomes unfair; I may even snap to make judgments’ based on feelings rather than the facts.  My thoughts begin to focus on the challenges and issues, I quit seeing the good in people, and more than likely I find that I have an increased “need” to be understood and heard. I even begin to resent my role as a military spouse and hate the chaos that comes with this life.  Sound familiar?  

    It’s easy to “go there”.  Heck, we all do it, but it’s important to remember that you can choose not to stay there no matter how strong the pull has become. When we are in a judgmental or needy place it’s pretty hard to be calm and deal with our day to day tasks. And when our lives are in a state of chaos, it can feel as if we are the rope in a tug of war game that just never ends. Thankfully, you don’t have to stay trapped in that place of stress and chaos anymore.

    One of the things I learned early on what my husband jokingly refers to as my “diva years” was that because I didn’t know it could be different, the vortex was (and sometimes still is) always on the edge of my daily existence.  It’s just part of the military benefit package that we are handed along with our ID card.  So what do you do when life is a chaotic mess and you are feeling the magnetic pull of the vortex?
    ___________________

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