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Military Life: The Power of a Battle Buddy

Some days as a military spouse I have to pinch myself. Sometimes to bring me back to reality  other times to make sure I don’t miss something really important. But today I’m pinching myself because among the chaos and stress there is a silver lining and I’m so grateful for the people around me who remind me to search for it when I’m in one of my moods. Now yesterday I could have pinched myself for being a brat  but a battle buddy talked me down (she’s good like that) and what transpired was well worth talking about.

Last night I was frustrated.

Now I don’t mind eating dinner alone when he’s deployed, TDY or even in a late meeting but these everyday 14+ hour workdays get me. Especially in a non deployment year. My thoughts get all whirly, I find myself sighing ALOT, shaking my head and getting hurt because he isn’t “listening” like I think he should.

You see, my husband has taken over a new leadership position recently and well let’s just say I’m lucky if I see him for an hour total every day. Last night he walked in the door around 8:30, ate and was asleep before his head hit the pillow and was gone by 4:45 this morning. He’s exhausted – a walking, zombie who can’t form a cohesive thought if it’s not related to ranges, ammo, soldiers or operations. I get that it’s a transition period and that once he has systems in place things will improve, but last night I was having none of it.

I get his job/mission has to come first, and normally I’m a roll with the punches kind of gal, but he isn’t deployed, he isn’t TDY and in the world of Judy unless there is a risk to life, limb or eyesight he should be home WAY before 8:30 pm.   I guess I missed the memo.

As I made dinner,  the dinner we had “found” together and planned on cooking TOGETHER I was frustrated.

I ate alone with no one to say “we will definitely make this again”. No one to laugh with if the new recipe had turned out nasty and forced us to order pizza. I was alone and it made me sad.

And then as if by magic in the midst of my pity party and brief “I hate military life” moment my phone rang. I honestly believe that battle buddies have a sixth sense for knowing when we need them because in one moment I was no longer dining alone. I was engaged in colorful conversation full of cuss words and laughter. She understood where I was at and I didn’t have to say a word. She helped me focus on all the good stuff that would come out of our new situation and reminded me that “this too shall pass”.

Bottom line she helped me see the silver lining that I had lost sight of.

There isn’t one of us who doesn’t get frustrated, sad, angry or feel alone. And I’m grateful that I follow my “Surround yourself with positive people” strategy especially at the times when I struggle to see the silver lining. Having someone to “be real” with, someone to make me laugh and someone to set me straight when I’ve lost my way makes my military life so much better. I cherish my battle buddies and hope that one day I can return the favor.


~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at

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