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Military Life: This is as “normal” as it gets…

As I wake up this morning sipping my cup of coffee, I can’t help but be torn. As my soldier walks in the door from morning PT I’m reminded of just how lucky I am today.  He is home, he is safe. Life is as close to “normal” as it gets.

But I quickly count my blessings and put myself in check, because it can all change so quickly, and if I needed proof of the reality of this life all I need to do is check my Facebook feed.

One friend is trying to hold it together because her spouse deployed last week and her child is wanting insurance that she won’t leave too;  while another anxiously awaits the homecoming celebration she has been looking forward too. There are postings about tri-care and their lack of care right along side the latest article about the DoD proposing to cut our benefits once again. Then there are all the spouses from our old unit, the unit where many of my long time battle buddies still reside. The unit that has endured a deployment that we all hope doesn’t happen to anyone. Too many lost and too much time left before they come home.

The rollercoaster of emotions is tangible and I know I’m not alone when I say on any given day I actually feel each and every emotion shared by my fellow milspouses. Sometimes it a quick pang but all too often I burst into tears for them…no, more like with them actually. I wish I could take away the fear, sadness and worry that surrounds this life, while at the same time be there to celebrate every homecoming, special occasion and triumph. But that isn’t the way.

Seems a bit odd, but I get it, and I’m sure you do too, but this is as “normal” as it gets.

To us, normal is middle of the night calls, last-minute change of plans and many cups of coffee (or wine depending on the time of day) shared with an overwhelmed battle buddy. Normal is relative…and I’m finding that our definition of normal is well VERY different from the rest of the world.

We have a silent code, a secret language and a shared bond that only we understand, and if that’s not normal then I want no part of it, because as a military spouse, this is as normal as it gets.


~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at


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