All posts,  Emotional Wellness,  Military Lifestyle Advice

Stop making a big deal out of the littlest things!

Most of us only want to be happy.  Ideally our jobs, our relationships, and our leisure activities all help us do so.  But sometimes we let the little things in our military life interfere don’t we? A cancelled family dinner, last-minute duty—even a delay in orders can become such a huge issue that we forget how to live day-to-day stress free. All too often it’s not the major catastrophes, nor the big events that mess things up. It’s really the mole hills we build into mountains that eat at us and weigh us down.

Think about your job or your service members schedule.  Is it the big projects that make you long for the beach and a fruity umbrella drink?  No, it isn’t!  It’s that annoying co-worker (or spouse) who doesn’t pull their weight; the whiner always looking for someone to do things for them; the inefficiency all around you isn’t it?. Tiny things that add up, causing the most stress are what makes our military life such a rollercoaster ride.

Did you know that how we handle these little things really determines the quality of our lives?  The more we focus on the crap, the bigger it becomes—and all of a sudden, your entire life is crap! And who wants that? I know I don’t!

So what can you do?

First you can stop making a big deal out of little things. You can decide that instead of hoping and wishing that things will change you can make a conscious effort to keep things in perspective—focus on not making mountains out of those mole hills and watch the chaos subside.  And it’s not really that hard, in fact it can be as simple as taking a moment to

  • Examine your thoughts
  • Ask yourself if this will matter 3 years from now, or even 3 weeks from now
  • Talk it out with a battle buddy or write about the situation to help you determine how big of a deal it really is
  • Let it go—do something fun to take your mind off the little things so you can enjoy your life

Easy peasy lemon squeezy as my niece would say!

Learning not to make a big deal out of the things that really aren’t a big deal is key to a calm fulfilling life as a military spouse and these simple actions will make a huge difference in your daily life. Try it and let me know how it goes!

Now if I could only practice what I preach…


~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at


  • Michelle


    You nailed it, Judy. This life is what we make it. If we spend our time and energy focusing on the not-so-great “stuff” that’s going on, that negative stuff will compound and grow.

    It really comes down to not getting wrapped up in what others are doing (or aren’t doing) and deciding to build each other up instead of tearing each other down. We don’t always know what’s going on with others, and what we perceive as someone being lazy or causing trouble may be a misconception. It’s wise to not presume that we know what motivates others’ actions.

    If we let go of those things that weigh us down, ignore the drama that others cause and remove ourselves from those situations, and CHOOSE to focus on the positive and good things that are happening in our lives, we become much happier and much better able to cope with the stressors in the future.

  • Kim

    There’s a Mother Theresa quote:

    “Be faithful in the little things, for it is in them that your strength lies.”

    I love it. Thanks for sharing!

    • Judy Davis - The Direction Diva

      LOVE that quote and thanks for sharing it – she is such an inspiration isn’t she? I also love this quote along the same lines: “Sometimes the little opportunities that fly at us each day can have the biggest impact.” ― Danny Wallace. Thanks for your comments and have a great day!

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