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I Am a Strong Military Spouse, So Why Am I Crying? by Judy Davis, The Direction Diva

I am a military spouse, and I am strong. So why don’t I feel strong at all. A strong military spouse is the expectation that permeates throughout our community. Strength, toughness, and resilience are  traits  that a “proper” milspouse should exhibit right? But sometimes life is difficult; the daily demands become so overwhelming that I don’t fee strong at all, in fact those are the days when all I want to do is cry.

I am A Strong Military SpouseI know I’m not alone on those days when I feel like I’m falling short here at Direction Diva central, especially when blog posts like this and this really resonate with my battle buddies.

I do my best to hold it all together. I try to be strong and focus on the positive as I go through the motions of this ever-changing inconsistent life…inserting deep breath here… but even though I do all those things, this lifestyle turns me upside down and can turn this pillar of strength into a big puddle of goo.

And that’s when the showers begin.

I’ll admit it, these last few days have been full of goo…with the launching of our new parenting resource Warning Signs , the long hours my husband is working, hormones messing with every damn thing and the stress of too many 13 hour days, the waterworks have been flowing.  But today as I was taking the garbage outside, I noticed something incredible.  I noticed the clouds….

As I watched them it dawned on me that clouds are much like each of us…

They were building and graying, and some looked as if they were going to burst. How like us that the clouds are designed to “overflow” when they can’t take on anymore, they fill and fill based on the conditions around them, and then when the conditions are too extreme, they burst….

Sometimes it’s a gentle sprinkling, sometimes it’s a long steady rain and sometimes it’s as if the heaven’s opened up and everyone should run for cover.  But not matter how they overflow, the result is the same.  There is a cleansing, a feeling of renewal, a knowing that you’ve gotten through the storm and that feeling of anticipation of what’s to come as things begin to settle.

And then it dawned on me. The fact that I cry means that I am strong.

There is strength in allowing ourselves to release what’s been building up.  We are like clouds that can only hold so much before the rains fall. So let the rains fall. Cleanse off the stress and remember that just as the storm clouds subside things become a little brighter, you begin to grow stronger and bloom where you are planted – much like the flowers after an April rain….

How are you a Strong Military Spouse?


~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM, Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Riskare go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at


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