• All posts,  Emotional Wellness,  Military Lifestyle Advice

    Military Life: 2 Simple Questions That Stop Military Spouse Gossip

    People love to stir things up and focus on all that is going wrong – in someone else’s military life. We live in a society that thrives on reality T.V., gossip and rumors. As a stress relief expert, I can’t tell you how many milspouses’ contact me through the blog or via my facebook page asking me how to stop the gossip and drama that seems to permeate through our community.  There is nothing that frustrates me more than hearing fellow military spouses offer each other up to the gossip mongers. Sadly, the gossip monger reared it’s ugly head right here in my own back yard. Right here on my post. Right here in my military community. Right in the middle…

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    How to Ask & Get What You Want Out Of Military Life

    Asking for help when life becomes overwhelming is something it took me a long time to learn. For the first few years as a military spouse I tried to handle everything on my own and that was a big mistake. Now that I understand the healthiest and strongest spouses are those that know how to ask for and get the help they need I thinks it’s important to share that lesson with you. I believe asking for help with military life is critical particularly with regard to depression, mental and behavioral health issues. And today I want to take this concept and apply it to your life. Asking for help is something that has gotten a bad…

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    Your Military Lifestyle Comparison Pisses Me Off

    To those who feel that the military life is no different from the corporate world – YOUR Military Lifestyle Comparison PISSES ME OFF and honestly I have something to say… Over the last few days with the announcement of the “war ending” in Afghanistan and the 1% pay raise our service members will receive I’ve had many conversations with both military and civilian peeps alike… many of which have made this Direction Diva’s blood boil. Honestly many military families feel that a 1% raise is like a slap in the face. But when you tell us that we should be happy because many other American citizens got nothing, it pisses me off. To compare corporate America to what our military…

  • All posts,  Emotional Wellness,  Military Lifestyle Advice

    Are you a survivor?

    “Tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring” – Tom Hanks in Castaway   The other day we were sitting watching the movie Castaway. I have always liked the movie, and Tom Hanks is incredible, but this time it really hit home. It was like an AHA moment for me, and it made me think about my life. Castaway was a story about one man’s life journey. It was a story about a character that grows and becomes a survivor, and I wondered if I would fare so well given the same circumstances. What would happen if I suddenly found myself lost in an environment that…

  • All posts,  Emotional Wellness,  Military Lifestyle Advice

    Expectations: Bigger isn’t always better

    I see it everyday in military life. Disappointment from expectations that miss the mark. People build things up in their mind and are disappointed when what they have envisioned doesn’t actually occur. We plan for the perfect deployment homecoming only to wait for hours in a staging area running after impatient kids. We spend weeks coordinating the perfect special event only to spend it without our service member. And often our expectations fall short of the reality that is our life. I  remember years ago hearing my mother say to my father “Jack, don’t build it up in your mind”. It was as if she knew that he would be disappointed when his expectations didn’t turn out just as he…

  • All posts,  Emotional Wellness,  Military Lifestyle Advice

    Milspouse Reflections: Don’t Let Your Fear of Change Hold You Back

    Fear of change is the greatest challenge I face as a military spouse and it’s often the thing that holds me back from having a great experience. Change in the military environment used to be a recipe for disaster. You see I like routine, consistency and knowing that my actions will produce the results I am looking for. But change is one of the things that trips many of us up and we all know that as milspouses change is part of our everyday existence.  Whether it’s a pcs, deployment, TDY orders, a new baby, or any situation life throws at us, change is something that we can’t ignore. Over the last 6 1/2  years we have had LOTS…